Day at the River

This has been a mellow time, a calm before the storm so to speak. In two weeks we will have teams coming down from the States to work with us which means I am about to get busy busy busy. I've been enjoying the 'down' time, though there is much preparation involved.
This last weekend I went to Salto Jimenoa, one of our waterfalls, with my roommate Amy and her family who is visiting and with Andrea, one of the missionary 'kids' (she's 19 now, but has lived here almost 6 years). It was a gorgeous day and it felt good to take a leisurely walk and rest by the water.
Here are some pics:

my roommate, Amy

Andrea and me

Recommeded Reading

I usually don't comment much on anything other than how I'm doing emotionally, mentally or spiritually save an occasional cultural anecdote. Today, however, I want to mention a couple of books I've read or have been reading that are affecting me greatly. One that I am still reading is called Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli. When I started reading this book plans to put quotes from it onto this blog began forming in my mind. However, it turns out I just want to quote the whole darn thing. At one point I actually DID underline something before I realized that I'd be underlining everything if I kept at it. Here is what I underlined: "Jesus responds to desire. Which is why he responded to people who interrupted him, yelled at him, touched him, screamed obscenities at him, barged in on him, crashed through ceilings to get to him. Jesus cares more about desire than competence. My hunch is that most of you reading this book feel incompetent and you can't let go of Jesus. Jesus sees right through your incompetence into a heart longing for him." Though so simple, it is bringing me face to face with my desires to be perfect before him and others. For whatever reason, Jesus is allowing me to face yet more layers of my own inadequacies and the self-hatred and fear of rejection it causes. Though I find it easier to have grace for others who are struggling and 'fall short' I am constantly sitting in the judgment seat over my own life. And, though reading about God's love and grace makes me cry with relief, I still can't believe it wholeheartedly. Which leads me to the next book: The Shack by author William P. Young. Wow. This book is revolutionary. It is a fiction novel written as though it were based on a true story. I don't want to give even the slightest bit away because I want everyone to go and read it. All I can say is that it is deeply challenging the strongholds of religiosity that plague my life to a point that is making me really uncomfortable-- not because I don't agree, but because such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It's like I'm coming face to face with a freedom I find is easier to talk about than to experience. Everything in me, though indelibly drawn to it's magnitude, also wants to repel every bit of the truth of it. Come face to face with the profound love of God for you. It hurts so good.
Ironically, I am reading these two books at the same time as another: Chosen for Life by Sam Storms. The subject of this book is simply predestination. Not a simple subject for the human mind, however. I've never believed in predestination, but starting about 7 months ago, it became almost all I could see in Scripture. I have felt God nudging me to explore this idea and since I have never studied it or heard anyone talk about it, it's been slow-going. I came upon this book while I was back home in the States. It discusses both traditional sides of predestination (Arminian vs. Calvinism), but is written to support the Calvinist view-- that, yes, indeed, God predestines some to receive salvation, not based on what decision He knows they will make, but based on His sovereign choice or election. I am slowly reading through this book, trying to keep an open mind. I have always held the Arminian viewpoint without knowing that's what it was: that we are chosen to be IN CHRIST, whoever believes-- not only those God has chosen beforehand. Today, as I write, I am undecided in my heart. As I read The Shack, I am tempted to remain a wholehearted believer that God would never choose only some to inherit salvation, but that Jesus' death on the Cross was for EVERY man, woman and child and that WHOEVER believes will inherit eternal life. However, I must admit that in reading Chosen for Life, I am swayed to believe that it is true, without God pursuing me and choosing me, I would have never chosen Him. Without faith being given to me to believe, my sinful propensity toward darkness would have ensued. I am comfortable saying, "I dunno", knowing full well that God wants to grant me both knowledge and peace in this area. But that's His doing.
In the meantime, I am a mess. But I am His mess.
I love you.

In Love

Perhaps it is the weather or the fact I got to sleep in on my most amazing new mattress. It could also be that Coke Light was finally restocked in the fridge at Supermercado Jarabacoa or that Oliver, our prodigy art student showed up the other day filled with joy, awe and wonder by his 50-piece set of colored pens that he received for Christmas and his relief that, finally, the art school was back open and he could continue learning how to draw fruit.
It could be that God my Father just feels like pouring out his abundant, radiant, beautiful face on me...
but whatever it is, I am in love.
There have been times in the last 5 months that have been good, where warm feelings have sprung up and filled me, but for the large part, I have felt really dry, spiritually, as I've struggled to understand, accept and integrate into this new culture.
I dunno (and I probably never will) why our spiritual lives move in seasons and while I appreciate every season and what it does for me, this season is my favorite.
"See ! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; and the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me." Song of Songs 2:11-13
How can I resist such a call? When 'deep calls out to deep' there is nothing one can do but surrender to it. It is times like these, when circumstances haven't changed and there is no possible explanation for why all of a sudden I should be feeling so overwhelmingly enamored with life, that I fall in deeper awe and love with the Lord. It is times like these that keep me going in drought, that keep my soul waiting for Him, longing for him.
My heart is filled with singing. I laughed at the traffic jam in the street today. I thought birds looked especially bright and colorful as I stared out the window and my neighbor's car alarm which always goes off at random hours and usually makes me want to throw and break things filled me with delight today.
I can't explain it.
I'm just in love.

Back

It was a long travel day. But let me just plug Jet Blue for a moment. Posh leather seats, enough leg room to CROSS MY LEGS, personal TV and lots of snacks. I had empty seats next to me all the way and so I stretched out. However sleep evaded me. I arrived in Santiago mid-morning. It was hot and humid-- quite the transition from 43 degrees in LA and New York. I arrived home and was greeted by our brutish Dobermans, who were covered in ticks, and also by several cockroaches. I was not greeted by our dear kitty Shiloh. He got out while we were gone and our brutish Dobermans killed the little guy. Sniff. Such is nature.
I fell into bed almost immediately after arriving,rested a bit and then headed off to have a delicious home-cooked soup with my friend Arlene. Then there was staff Bible Study. It was wonderful to see everyone again, to be welcomed home with strong hugs. But it felt weird. Driving, buying milk at the store, listening to voices singing praise to the Lord in Spanish, all so familiar, yet I felt lost. Not sleeping for a really long time had an affect, but my heart, in many ways, had already started reattaching to American life.
Today, I slept a good portion of the day and really prayed through the transition sadness.
A good friend came at just the right time and I was able to pour out my heart to her. She read me the lyrics of a Spanish worship song and also some exerpts from a book written by Graham Cooke. The theme was about remaining in the hidden place with God, letting yourself be formed by the Master Craftsman, allowing His hammer blows and refining fire purify you so that you may shine and endure even when it seems he is not 'moving' or speaking. I basically needed to be reminded again that "I am crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me."
Leaving behind family, friends, church and the ease of ministering in my own language is hard to bear, but if I follow Christ to the point of death, He will resurrect something holy and wonderful because He is good.
I am excited to be here. I know God has great things and I am ready to jump in wholeheartedly.
Keep going.
If there is anything I would want to encourage any believer with, it is KEEP GOING. Christ is faithful, He is good and His reward is with Him.
Here's to a new year looking toward the unfolding plans of God in each of our lives as we pursue Him.

The Angels Rejoiced

In my last newsletter, I mentioned an art student I have been working with named Sandi. Sandi is a 33 year old mother of two (Albert, 11, and Sindi, 9). She started coming to our art school at the admonition of her therapist: she needed to get out of the house and so something creative. The beginning weeks were difficut as she tried and tried again to draw the basic glass bottles and teapots we have all beginning students start with. She couldn't do it. I have never seen anyone in my life draw almost the complete opposite of what they're looking at. She was frustrated, I was frustrated, but I talked with her, our semester students Tyler and Michelled talked to her, Fran encouraged her and over time she began pouring out her heart. She has suffered from severe depression and anxiety for the last 9 years. For part of that time she was hospitalized and put on heavy medication. She has tried to commit suicide multiple times. She sleeps everyday between 12 and 6 pm. She lives in despondancy, despair and darkness. As she began tearfully revealing these things to us, we just loved on her. After about a month of her coming to our school, I asked her one day if we could pray for her. She said she was embarrassed, but I knew that we could not let her go. We gathered around her and she just grabbed our hands and Francisco began this beautiful, yet fervent prayer in Spanish. We all wept with her. Then she asked if she could come to church with me on Sunday!

Sandi had studied with Jehovah's Witnesses for many years and even tells people that she was one. But, she shared with us that she was never able to completely believe in it and she didn't know why.

I took her to church. She cried during worship. She listened intently to the sermon. And, at the end, she asked me to stand up with her at the altar call. She confessed her sins and accepted Jesus into her heart. Our church is really good at following up with those who stand up and she was hugged by one of our ushers and taken downstairs to give her name and address and to recieve some written material about Christianity. One of our other art students, Andrea, went down with her so that she wouldn't feel alone. It was an amazing night.

The next weekend our church was having a retreat/conference and Sandi wanted to go, so I picked her up Friday night and we went. This time, she put out her hands during worship and sang at the top of her lungs as she cried and cried. She listened intently again and afterward wanted to meet the speaker who is a Puerto Rican pastor. She told him her story and he lead her through another sinner's prayer. In the car on the way home, she asked me why tears uncontrollable flowed out of her during the singing. She said that at the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall, that had never happened; neither at the Catholic church she had attended as a young person. I began to tell her about the Holy Spirit. She was overwhelmed by all that had happened, so we didn't talk too much that night.

The next week she came to the art site and told me she had something to share. Here in the Dominican Republic exists 'Brujeria', or, witchcraft. Though most Dominicans never confess to believing in them, many of them will secretly consult with witches to perform spiritual things for them. Sandi had done just that. And recently. Though she has made a decision for Christ, she is still bound by so many other things. After sharing what this witch woman had her do, I prayed and prayed. Because my Spanish isn't good enough to explain a whole lot, I asked her to please share with Francisco. She did and he talked to her about the difference between Satan's power and the power of God, but she didn't really understand. In her desperation to relieve this constant pain in her life, she is grabbing at whatever she can. But she was able to acknowledge that ever since she had been meeting with this woman, she has been constantly sick with headaches and vomiting. Please pray for her. She has said that she will not see this woman again (the main reason being that she charges too much money), but Sandi is still having a hard time. Our church has an integration ministry set up and so I went with my friend Elizabeth, who is now head over that ministry, to go visit Sandi in her home. Elizabeth is a fluent Spanish speaker and Sandi really trusts her. I am praying that as the church gets more involved, Sandi will begin to realize that she has a family around her who will walk by her as she gets set free.

There are so many more like her in the DR. Depression, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution and belief in superstition and witchcraft are major strongholds here. Please pray for us as we continue sharing Christ's redeeming love with her.

Dia de Accion de Gracias, a.k.a. Thanksgiving

Well, I've had a lot of quesitons asking how we celebrate Thanksgiving in the Dominican Republic. I regret to inform all Americans that America is the ONLY country that celebrates this holiday since, you know, it originated with Pilgrims and Indians. Theoretically. Giving thanks actually originated a long time before that, but that's beside the point.

Having said that, I will gladly share that Students International put on a Thanksgiving for all of our staff and their families and for our semester students the night before Thanksgiving. We worked Thanksgiving day since it is not actually a national holiday here.

A traditional, yet somewhat Dominican, meal was prepared (pineapple jam instead of cranberry sauce) and enjoyed by everyone (though the Dominicans found the food to be kind of bland). We had a live worship band playing and we spent meaningful time giving thanks to God for specific things. We danced our puritan patooties off as we worshipped the Lord with Thanksgiving for all that He has done. It was the best T-day I've ever had.

On a funny note, we at the art site decided to dress up as Pilgrims and Indians (though we didn't catch a shot of Francisco wearing his construction paper headdress). All the Dominicans thought I was a nurse and were very confused.

Meet Tyler and Michelle

Francisco and I have had the incredible privilege of hosting these two students from Bethel College, Indiana at the art site for the last two months. Tyler and Michelle came on a semester program with 19 other students to study Spanish and work in occupational ministries with Students International. Originally, each were assigned to a different work site-- Michelle at education, as she is an English major and wants to teach, Tyler at medical, as he came to find out if nursing was something he'd like to pursue. Due to overbooking, these two were placed at my site. It was the hand of God. Tyler and Michelle are both very talented artists and each have the spiritual sensitivity to go along with it. They immediately jumped right in to what we were doing at the art site: hanging out with our students and building relationships with them, making art of their own, cleaning up when it needed to be done, running errands with me, and teaching two mornings a week at a local school.

Along with teaching art at our art school, Ty, Michelle and I spent 5 weeks at Jarabacoa Christian School teaching art and how God feels about art. Our lessons were as follows: Week 1-God as Creator: we read the first few verses in Genesis and the beginning of Psalm 19, talked about creation, shared about Vincent Van Gogh and his life, and we did drawings in crayon based on his Starry Night painting. Week 2- Bezalel and Oholiab: God's Skilled Artists: Exodus 31, talked about our gifts and callings from God and how we are to practice them, become skillful and do them excellently. We shared about artist Cezanne and how he saw everything as though it were encased in shapes. We drew glass bottles, starting with rectangles. Week 3- True Worship vs. Idolatry: the Golden Calf story (how art was used to worship false Gods), talked about how we can use the gifts God has given us in ways that don't please Him; God's perspective vs. man's perspective; featured artist M.C.Escher who was an expert in perspective drawing and then we taught them how to draw some basic perspective. Week 4: Being Made in the Image of God. We talked about what it means to reflect God's image. We showed the self-portraits of Van Gogh, Cezanne and M.C. Escher and then showed the classes Michelle and Tyler's self-portraits that they had worked on. The art project was to draw a self-portrait based not on appearance, but on who they are as image bearers of God. Week 5- God's Love for Cultural Diversity: Tower of Babel (God confuses languages, causing humanity to become different and spread out) and how the 'glory of the nations' will be brought into the New Jerusalem (art being some of that glory). We showed students different art from around the world and then we taught them how to make Origami cranes.

What an amazing time it was. We really bonded with the kids (ranging from 2nd grade to High Schoolers). Here are some photos:

Ashli showing off her self-portrait

Me showing off some African art to the 5th graders

Tyler, Michelle, the 2nd graders and I showing off their origami cranes

A fun time was had by all.

Tyler and Michelle are finishing up next week and I am really sad to see them go. They have each brought with them some amazing reflections of Christ in His splendiforous array and I will miss them terribly.