i like to paint

and i like to draw.

I Feel Like...

While taking siesta out on the balcony at the Escuela d'Arte Vocacional de Jarabacoa one humid afternoon, Vanessa, a visiting volunteer from California brought up an interesting topic/discovery: how often we tend to over use the phrases "I feel like...", "do you know what I mean?"  and everyone's favorite, "like".   She used an example to illustrate what she meant.  After biting into a chip, she said, "I feel like these chips are too salty".  I had to laugh.  Are salty chips a feeling?  Somehow, 'I feel like' has replaced 'In my opinion' or 'From my perspective'.  I asked her and our other volunteer, Denisse, if they thought it was because 'tolerance' has become the pervading value of modern American culture.  Vanessa suggested it came from the whole psychology office phenomenon of being asked 'how do you feel about that?'  I started thinking about Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, Geraldo and all those other 'talk shows' where people sit up on a stage and share how they 'feel'.    I thought about all the training I've had in communication skills in where I've been taught to express my emotions in a conflict situation without falsely judging the other person: "When you said... I felt..." instead of "You make me feel..."  Anyway, the overall conclusion of our conversation was that we, as a society, are losing authority in the things that we say.  We have become afraid to speak our mind in the event we might offend.  We question our opinions or avoid conflict by preempting our opinions with a non-confrontational 'I feel like...'   I told them, "You know, if I were to eliminate the phrases that take pressure off of my being 'wrong', I would probably think more before I speak and say a whole lot less.  And, what I would say, would have authority or impact.  I would sound like I knew what I was talking about."

Ever since this conversation, I have been extra aware of my tendency to not speak with authority or confidence.  Often times, I actually DO have a strong opinion, but to avoid conflict, I will mask it behind the phrases, "I feel like" or "do you know what I mean?" (this is used to draw the other person into a place of harmony in agreement).

This also got me thinking again about a conversation I had a while back with a friend about blogging-- how everyone is blogging/twittering/facebooking these days, wanting to have a voice in this world.  However, so often we use these platforms for being heard to say nothing of importance or real significance at all: Amy Babb is soooo tireddd!  Amy Babb is going shopping. Amy Babb...fill in the blank.  

What is the deal with wanting to communicate so much without actually saying anything?

"Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.  For God is in heaven and you on earth; therefore let your words be few.  For a dream comes through much activity and a fool's voice is known by his many words."  Ecclesiastes 5:2,3

"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.  Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." Proverbs 17:27,28

Thanks to Vanessa, Denisse and Josh for bringing my attention back to the power of speech.