Stripped of Independence?

Yesterday afternoon I took a fall.
It was kind of my own fault, but not really.
I was in a semi-jovial mood and therefore felt like hop-skipping up a stair instead of just calmly stepping up. It was one of those times when a flash image went through my head of me totally eating it one second before I actually ate it. So, I experienced it twice. Only, the second time it hurt real bad.
Falling and twisting your foot and ankle under you at the ripe old age of 32 is not only not fun, but also slightly embarrassing. I'm sure I looked less than graceful biting the dust in front of several of my missionary cohorts and onlooking neighbors. Everything in me just wanted to get right up, brush off dry plant debris, get in my car and drive home. However the wrenching pain going up and down my leg told me to stay put. Sweet Isabel who is Willian(our caretaker's) young wife, quickly ran to the kitchen to get me an ice pack. Motherly Daisy, who runs our El Callejon social work site, quickly got down on the ground with me, took off my shoe and sock and applied the ice pack, telling me it was okay to feel like I was 6 years old. Which I did, in case you were wondering. I was trying to be very brave and not cry about it. Instead I listened to Isabel share a story about how God physically healed her once of a pain in her shoulder.
After a while I was convinced I just needed to go home. So, I somehow got myself into a standing position. Immediately I felt like vomiting. The shock was hitting me. I almost passed out, but instead mumbled something in Spanglish and got back down on the ground. Daisy reapplied the ice pack. Nate went up to fetch my car and bring it down to me. I knew I'd be able to make it home since it was my left foot that was messed up and I could drive with my right. He asked if I wanted to go to his house and have Maggie wrap it up for me. Common sense would have said yes. I said, no, it's okay, I just wanna go home. But, I do need someone to follow me, open up the gate, chain the dogs and help get me in the house. He agreed to do it.
10 minutes later, I was at home alone, laying on the couch wincing at the pain and letting the tears flow.
Hopping around on one leg for the rest of the night, trying to make dinner, wash dishes and get ready for bed took more effort than I ever could have imagined. That was when I realized how much I hold onto independence. Actually, I think being independent and capable are not necessarily bad things. Being strong and able to make your own decisions and get about in the world are positive things. But when these things keep you from being able to accept a loving, helping hand from someone else, that's when there is something wrong.
Today as I've been processing some of this, knowing that Nate would have to come pick me up and take me to the doctor, knowing that I really needed to call my friend Katie and ask her to come spend the night so that I could have help doing stuff around the house, I've realized that the deeper issue is that I don't like to be a burden. I know where the root of this comes from, but it's always hard when I come up against it. Living here in the DR has caused me to have to confront many things like this that lie deep in my own heart.
And so now I have to ask myself, where is Jesus in all of this? He told us that the second greatest command after loving God with our entire beings was loving each other as we love ourselves. That's really profound-- much more than we realize at times. Because love is active, not just a good feeling. It's a choice to serve someone else, even if we have to sacrifice our time or our agendas. I think about the Good Samaritan who stopped whatever he was doing, lifted a stranger onto his donkey, took him to a nearby inn and made sure the guy was taken care of. He didn't have to, but he did. God wants us to take care of each other, to take time out of our lives to serve someone else. He wants us to put our love into action. Robbing my brothers and sisters of following this command of God is not loving on my part either. It seems crazy in my mind sometimes that someone might actually recieve a blessing in being able to take care of me.
These are my couch thoughts for today as I give thanks for the servant hearts God has put in my life who are more than willing to stop their agendas to make sure I am being taken care of. Thank you, Nate. Thank you, Katie. Thank you, Dr. Fernando.