mustard seed, partially chewed

"while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen."
2 Cor.4:16

This is the scripture that God has given me to hold onto this week. As I check each day to see how much support has come in, I am tempted to look at how much more I need before I can leave for the Dominican Republic. The amount seems large to me, insurmountable, and the resources around me, so limited. But, this is not what God sees. "Look to Me!" He beckons. With eyes of faith, I crane my neck in the general direction of heaven, squinting with all my might, and gasp, "Okay, God! I can't see it, but I believe you have everything in Your hand." If only I did not have to do this every 10 or 20 minutes, I might be able to boast about my gargantuan storehouse of faith. Thankfully, He asks for only a mustard seed. At times, I feel like that's about all I have and, sometimes even less. As I wait for the promises to be fulfilled, I often chew the ends off that mustard seed in anxious tension.
Between chews, I await the arrival of a renewed passport. This has been an unexpected hang-up in my plans. In less than two weeks I was planning on flying down to Antigua, Guatemala for 6 weeks of Spanish language immersion. I eagerly gave notice at my jobs, started sorting through 'stuff' I'd accumulated to take to a local thrift shop-- you know, all the things you do to get ready to leave the country. But, where is my passport?? I called the Passport Agency only to discover that they have no record of having received my passport and was told that they are 6-8 weeks behind schedule. I even checked at the bank to today to see if the check I sent had cleared. Nope. I know God 'has a plan' in all this, but I have started to feel like a quickly deflating baloon. And not the kind that makes the high sqeaky noise. The other kind. As the words to a powerful worship song flood through my head ('mold me! break me! love me and make me more and more like you! I've come to worship you!) I wonder, how, in this circumstance, is He molding me? How will I come out of this looking more like Him?
Hmmmm.
So, as it stands, I am at about 27% of my monthly budget and about 28% of my one-time budget. Praise God and muchisimas gracias to all who have given so far.